* “With apologies to the old lady who swallowed a fly.”
There was a state agency who gave us some goats.
Do we really need goats? I think we don’t. Perhaps they’ll croak.
DWR gave us goats to earn them some cash,
Though a couple hundred bucks hardly makes a splash,
And despite the backlash they trotted out goats.
Do we really need goats? I think we don’t. Perhaps they’ll croak.
To check on the goats they flew in a chopper
(It’s risky business at best; at worst it’s improper).
They flew the heli to count the goats,
They gave us goats to earn some cash,
Now La Sals are lousy with a goaty rash.
Do we really need goats? I think we don’t. Perhaps they’ll croak.
They tranq’d a ram while the ship was a hover:
Steep snow below, the broad sky above her.
They jabbed the goat to affix a collar,
They flew the heli to jab the goat,
They gave us goats to earn some cash
And goats are harder to grab than other mountain trash.
Do we really need goats? I think we don’t. Perhaps they’ll croak.
They crashed their ‘copter in pursuit of a ram
Engine failure or rock fall? That wasn’t the plan!
They hit a wall in pursuit of a goat,
They pursued the goat to give him a collar,
They flew the heli to chase the goat,
They gave us goats to earn some cash.
Our tax dollars paid for this Gold Basin gash.
Do we really need goats? I think we don’t. Perhaps they’ll croak.
These would-be goatherds were lucky to survive
And the sheriff, SAR, and DPS were quick to arrive.
They longlined the pilots who crashed the ship,
They crashed the ship while chasing a goat,
They chased the goat to install GPS
(Why goats need a signal is anyone’s guess)
And they gave us these goats as a public benefiter,
Instead what we get is La Sals full of litter:
Wallows amongst daisies, recreation in peril,
Contract helicopters and goats going feral.
Do we really need goats? I think we don’t. Perhaps they’ll soon see the whole program’s a joke and perhaps they’ll listen to more sensible folk who have asked for a decade to, please, get rid of the goats.
Sam Van Wetter
Moab
