Dear Editor,

Truly, we now find ourselves living in a fantasy world. The Donald is the presumptive nominee for president of the United States for one of only two major political parties in the land.

That’s really all you need to know. The Donald defines the depths to which the nation has fallen as a result of the irresolute obstructionism, fear, bias, greed and utter incompetence of the GOP. Utah’s own exalted representatives are among the brightest stars of that sad circus. What few real elephants that are left in the world are obliged to cover their babies’ big ears and cringe in embarrassment.

Whatever are we to do? The glitterati, hedge-funders, think-tankers and even Utah’s own King Mitt have reacted as one might to a major wedgie on the dance floor of the junior prom.

How could this happen? A bit of thoughtful reflection quickly reveals that The Donald is a perfect poster boy for the ruling class (and this does not exclude Democrat big-wigs, i.e. the Clintons), rich, arrogant, grossly overprivileged, completely self-centered and clueless on matters of reality. The only difference between The Donald and the rest of the ruling class is that he does not even bother to pretend otherwise. He actually believes he is the gaseous messiah who will restore the greatness of our nation. Think of it!

And what exactly are the existential threats on the horizon that threaten our very existence? Not enough versions of the new iPhone to go around; the economy; dark-skinned people sneaking up on us (be careful of the terrorists who serve your lunch, landscape your lawn or make your hotel bed); our own goldurn gummint? How much better would it be to live in a country where a bomb could drop on your head on any day at any time, or where you and your family have no access to clean water, education, health care or decent housing? At least we’ve made sure the terrorists have plenty of cell phones and the opportunity to upgrade!

The growing hysteria and deafening gnashing of teeth that now dominate the print media and airwaves is not that The Donald might become president – he might, you know! The 1 Percent were perfectly happy with The Donald as a precocious, prodigal member of their club, and would have been proud to play golf with him or be comped at one of his luxury resorts. He could get Mitt to sit, shake, beg, roll over and play dead for a paltry six-figure donation. No, the worry is that an unhinged and unleashed Donald will clearly reveal the nature and attitude of our ruling class – and thereby usher in the revolution.

Buckle up, folks. It’s going to be a long, strange trip. Might even be fun.